In an interview in Harvard Business Review, Joseph S. Nye, Jr. author of Bound to Lead describes that “smart power”, a combination of soft power (attraction, vision and emotional appeal) and hard power (coercion, tough tactics and payment) is the type of power we need to navigate the future.
The interview is a must read for any leaders of today. While soft power is wonderful, many not so great leaders (Hitler, Staline, bin Ladin) used the forces of attraction to get what they want. Striking the balance is critical.
So the question becomes How do leaders strike that sweet spot between soft and hard power?
I believe that this process can start with emotional skills training. The art of developing soft skills begins with knowing your own emotions and how those affect others around you. With great coaching and self observation, you can begin to read others reactions to your emotions so that you can play your cards at the right time using the right emotional tone.
The other part of this process is what I call emotional toughness. This includes being able to play tough and be direct when needed, to hold people accountable to their words and actions and having the courage and the guts to say “We’re going this way…are you on the bus or off the bus…if you’re not on the bus, then let me help you pack your things!”
So many leaders often choose one or the other…as if the two cannot co-exist. I believe they can, and I encourage you to start today to take on the following step:
1) If you have not participated in a 360 Degree Review in the past year, it’s time to complete that process. The only way you are going to know if you are being too soft or too hard is to ask the people around you.
2) Work an emotional intelligence training or coaching program with an executive coach. Include your closest team members in on this training.
3) Look at the hard power skills you struggle with, take one of those and develop that one skill out with finesse. As an example, if you are working on being more direct, practice that with your team, and study people who are strong in this area to see how they do it. Over time, you will find that your soft skills training can help you deliver tough skills with grace and ease.
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